A Mini Playlist Dedicated To The Coolest Guy I Wish I Had More Time With

Posted On July 9, 2021

Samantha Colleran, July 2021

There’s really no easy way to start this post. Today marks fifteen years since this Earth lost one of the coolest, craziest, sweetest guys you could ever have the pleasure of knowing, my Uncle Timmy. I was one day away from turning five when he passed, so I don’t remember much about him except he was probably the tallest human I’d ever encountered at that point in my life, and that his heart was so full of love. Most of what I know about him is through stories my parents, Granny, and friends of his tell me, and it still continues to blow my mind just how many people he impacted during his lifetime. 

My family does a lot of different things to keep him in our everyday life. I have his childhood stuffed animal, a giraffe named Aggie that’s older than I am and looks more like a dinosaur at this point; I sleep with it every night. My brother and my dad have some old items of his clothing, and they each have a tattoo dedicated to him, my mom and Granny have endless photos of him, our answering machine is his voice, in recent years my mom and brother have uncovered old notes in his handwriting chock full of business ideas. However, one of the most important things that’s served as a reminder of his life is music. Music he loved, lyrics of songs that remind us of him; both are incredibly important in keeping his spirit alive. So for today’s post, I’ve compiled a list of some of those songs. This one’s for you T-Dog, I love you.

“World, Hold On”, Bob Sinclair ft. Steve Edwards

(Click here for the extended version) If you knew my uncle, you knew he loved this song. If there were any song I’d use to describe his life or his memory, it would be this one without hesitation. It’s The Uncle Timmy Anthem, I’ve never known this song any other way and I don’t plan on relating it to anyone or anything else other than him. It was released just about a month before he passed away (which I didn’t know until I began working on this post), and I think that shows how music can be embraced by people in such a short time. He loved house music, and Bob Sinclair and this song in particular were among his favorites. Uncle Timmy loved everybody and embraced all kinds of people from all different walks of life, and this song is one of those that unifies people no matter who they are or where they come from. “One voice, one heart, love and unity, everybody sing”. Whenever this song comes on I sing it loud and sing it proud for him, I hope he hears it.

“Somewhere Over The Rainbow”, Israel Kamakawiwoʻole

As long as I can remember this song has been associated with Uncle Timmy. He was a surfer dude, as many Rockaway guys are, and in this video friends and family of Israel are spreading his ashes in the ocean in a big swimout, which is how my uncle’s ashes were spread (not on as large of a scale as the swimout shown in the video, but you get the idea). My parents told me the first time they saw this video they were really freaked out. Of all videos to be playing on TV at the most random time of night shortly after Uncle Timmy passed away, it was this one. It almost felt like some sort of sign from him. Now, whenever it comes on, we always say that Uncle Timmy is looking out for us and wants us to know everything will be okay. Before the second COVID shutdown in the winter I started working at a restaurant some family friends own called the Harbor Light, my second weekend there this song came on. It plays almost every day I work and it really freaks me out at times, but my mom always says Uncle Timmy wants me to know I’m in good hands! (I already knew that going into this job, but the little reminder is nice, albeit slightly creepy at times.)

“Shadow Of The Day”, Linkin Park

One random day in the midst of quarantine (probably after I was sent home from college, but I really can’t keep track anymore), my mom and I sat at our kitchen island, brainstorming ideas for some blog posts and trying to think of some more ideas of how to promote Vibing On Vinyl and get the word out there. We somehow ended up talking about Uncle Timmy, which happens often when we’re just sitting in the kitchen and chatting as a family, and songs that remind us of him. One of the songs my mom mentioned happened to be “Shadow Of The Day” by Linkin Park. We aren’t diehard Linkin Park fans, so for my mom to bring this song up felt really out of the blue. She said the second verse reminded her a lot of Uncle Timmy’s last few days, “In cards and flowers on your window/ Your friends all plead for you to stay” (definitely didn’t cry while typing those lyrics out). We sat in the kitchen and cried together, the hard hitting, all too familiar lyrics filling the space between us. 

“When You’re Gone”, Avril Lavigne

This one is my doing. “When You’re Gone” was released within the first year of Uncle Timmy’s death, and the lyrics really hit home for me despite the fact I was so little. The concept of the song is meant to be universal, a relationship being ripped away from you and all that’s left are those little memories of the other person. The video for this song shows three different relationship scenarios; a pregnant wife whose husband is in the military, a girl who’s overbearing mother doesn’t want her to be with her boyfriend, and an elderly man who lost his wife. The video shows that the song can relate to different relationships, but of course I associated it with Uncle Timmy because of the timing and the lyrics. The older I got and the more I began to understand music and the meanings of songs, the more emotional it made me. “The clothes you left/ They lie on the floor/ And they smell just like you/ I love the things that you do” is the line that hurts the most. My parents have told me on a number of occasions (and I remember this) that the day of his funeral they found me sitting in his duffel bag of clothes (he was visiting from Florida), and hearing Avril sing that line about the clothes reminds me of that. I miss you, that’s all I can say.

“lonely”, Machine Gun Kelly

Another song I managed to figure out a way to associate with Uncle Timmy. MGK wrote this song about his aunt and father passing, and since its release I’ve connected it to Uncle Timmy. I wasn’t old enough to fully grasp the fact he died, all I knew was that he wasn’t coming back and it frustrated me to know there was no changing that. I also wasn’t old enough to be dancing with any devils at that point in my life, but Uncle Timmy certainly said goodbye way too soon, and I know in my heart and in the hearts of those that knew him we knew nothing would ever feel right without him in our lives. During big life events I always think of how he would react, if he’d be proud of me for getting as far as I have in life or for doing the things I’ve done. Sometimes I think I’d trade those moments just to see him one more time or have him here with us. I wish he had more time left. (The voice note at the end of MGK’s dad talking reminds me of the previously mentioned answering machine. It’s nice to hear his voice when we miss a phone call.)

“No One But You (Only The Good Die Young)”, Queen

No, not the Billy Joel “Only The Good Die Young”. “No One But You” was written about Freddie Mercury’s passing at what is a considerably young age, and this song feels almost too relatable. Uncle Timmy was in his 30s when he passed, far too young. The band questions how they should handle Freddie’s passing; would Freddie want them to cry and “drown in the blues”,  do they celebrate his ability to touch so many people’s lives with his talent, charisma, and charm? The song has a beautifully heartbreaking balance of both, and I think that’s exactly how Uncle Timmy wanted us to celebrate his life. Sometimes it’s too hard to think of him and all I can do is cry because I want him here, but other times I could listen to my parents talk about his wild shenanigans for hours and laugh with them about how wonderfully crazy he was. We can never truly understand why he passed so young, why he of all people had to be taken away from us, but we’ll always celebrate him; we’ll “raise our glasses” to him whenever we’re remembering the life he lived, and when we really have to, we’ll cry for no one but him. 

Uncle Timmy, we miss you more than any of the messages of these songs could ever convey, but I hope this list of songs serves as a reminder that wherever you are, we’re always thinking of you and we wish you were here every second of every day. You weren’t in my life for as long as I hoped to have you, but I cherish every moment we shared together. You’re forever in my heart.