A Not So Brief Note On My Thoughts Concerning Concert Cancellations

Posted On June 10, 2020

Samantha Colleran, June 2020

The purpose of this blog is to share my personal insights with my readers about my feelings and attachments to all things music related. On the nights since I’ve been home from college, I think about how this year could have and should have played out, and my mind always wanders back to one thing– concerts. I’ve read two articles that express some of my emotions better than I ever could, one by Rob Sheffied for Rolling Stone and the other written by Dave Grohl for The Atlantic, and both nearly brought me to tears. As someone who eats, sleeps, breathes, practically lives for concerts, and gets such a chemical rush from live shows it fuels me for days on end, the ongoing COVID-19 crisis causing the two concerts I had been excitedly waiting for since late 2019 to be postponed upset me immensely. 

Clearly other more important things are happening in the world right now and I would never want to overshadow those things. However, if you want to understand me and how I operate, it’s important that you know that going to concerts is everything to me. And when I say it’s everything, I truly mean that. From the second my eyes open on Concert Day, as I’ve dubbed every day I attend a concert, I know there’s absolutely nothing that can ruin the day. I simply can’t control my excitement no matter how hard I try, and anyone who’s around me that day can sense the change in personality and attitude. On train rides or car rides to wherever my concert is, I shake from overwhelming excitement. All of my stress and worries are left behind me the second I hop out of bed; it’s the very select few times a year where I feel as though I can let go of everything and I allow myself the freedom to let completely loose without any shame or regrets. I feel comfortable enough to scream, cry, sing extremely off-key, dance like an idiot, and feel a wide range of emotions in front of thousands of strangers. After all, a very wise Harry Styles once said in the middle of his cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain”, “You are not going to see these people tomorrow, so just go for it” (the only person I will see is my mom, who goes with me to a lot of my concerts so… sorry Mom). Concerts are my happy place and where I feel most at home, and not being home for even longer than I expected is breaking my heart. 

The only reactions I can have right now about my shows (and all shows in general) being postponed and/or cancelled are emotional. Like I said, clearly worse things are happening, but working so hard all year just to have the reward of getting to see two of my favorite people be taken away just shattered me. Not only for my own personal reasons, but as a music industry major it’s common knowledge that live shows and tours are where a majority of the industry’s revenue comes from. Those who work tirelessly to put these shows together are out of jobs. All the venue security, stage production workers, roadies, sound engineers. Everyone is at a loss right now, and the music industry, which had just started to slowly mend itself after years of debt, is going to suffer big time. Concerts will most likely be one of the last things to come back, the people who bring the events that hold special places in our hearts to life won’t be back at work for a long time, and it’s going to completely change the course of the industry. It’s unfair to everyone involved. 

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Nashville ! Fucking loved that

A post shared by Louis Tomlinson (@louist91) on Nov 30, 2019 at 8:40pm PST

It sucks. It sucks, it sucks, it sucks. I was really looking forward to getting to tell you all about my concert experiences this year. I was excited to queue for the first time in the hot June sun and meet new people who share the love I have for Louis. I so wish I could feel the crowd of Pier 17  surge forward as Louis walked on stage, excitement pouring out of every single person there. I want nothing more than to sing along to the lyrics that have weaved their way into my heart over the years and months with Louis. I want to hear the people around me sing to him for a million different reasons. I was over the moon to see Harry again on Night 3 of his MSG takeover, two days before my birthday, and hear Fine Line as well as past Harry Styles songs live. I was so emotional just thinking about the fact I would get to sing the lyrics “We’ll be alright” from “Fine Line” with him, I was waiting for the moment where I could believe that the outside world isn’t as cruel as it is and that everything will inevitably be alright, even if it was just for a few short minutes. I was excited to earn money from a summer job and blow it all on merch from both concerts. I was hoping to find other shows to go to this summer and get different experiences and find new songs to obsess over and share with everyone I speak to. There’s so many things I want to happen and that I wish for, but I have to wait a little longer for them to happen, and as irrelevant or miniscule it may seem in the grand scheme of things, it sucks.

I miss the crowds, I miss the people. I miss every single type of concert person. I miss the boring people who sit down the whole time, the people like me who dance and jump around and sing their hearts out, the people who record everything on their phones in fear of missing something important, the people who don’t know how to react and stand there awkwardly. I miss that ear piercing sound of pure happiness that fills the venue the second the lights start to go down. I miss when the lights come back up and I’m left standing there, body full of adrenaline and face covered in happy tears as people begin to flood out of the venue and I have to somehow find the strength to get myself to move with the crowd into the night. I miss the rides home thinking of everything that I got to witness and feeling so thankful that I’m able to go to as many concerts as I can. I miss trying to relive every second in my mind and engrave it in my brain forever. I miss it, I miss all of it so very much. 

If you’re a concert goer or a music lover like I am and you’re feeling the same way, just know that I see you and we’re in this together. Concerts are something I’ve always appreciated and have never taken for granted, but once the world starts to get to a point where it’s safe for concerts to be back, I know my love and appreciation for them will only skyrocket. When this is all over and you find yourself at a venue you haven’t been to in a while or you’re experiencing a new concert arena, whether you’re seeing a forever favorite artist or expanding your musical taste and seeing someone new, take a moment to focus on how you’re feeling in the moment and never let the feeling go. I know I certainly won’t forget my first show after all of this.