Saturn Lane’s Newest Single “Messed Up” Is Her Most Vulnerable Track Yet
Samantha Colleran, May 2021
Last week I had the pleasure of sitting down with Saturn Lane once again! We discussed her new single titled “Messed Up” and what inspired the theme and message behind the track, as well as the production process, and possible future releases! See the bottom of the interview for more information about where to listen to the track.
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SC: Hi Saturn!
SL: Hey, how are you?
SC: I’m good, how are you?
SL: Good!
SC: So, I know we spoke a few months ago when we were discussing your single “Want You Bad”, but if you want to introduce yourself briefly to those who either don’t remember or weren’t following me at that point and tell them a little bit about who you are that would be great!
SL: Sure! I’m Saturn Lane and I’m a pop singer-songwriter from New York City. I love to sing and write and talk about mental health, and just vibe.
SC: Awesome! Why are we here today? I know why we’re here today, but some people may not!
SL: We’re here today because I just dropped a new song called “Messed Up” and I’m really excited about it!
SC: You just mentioned being really open about mental health, and I know you said the song touches a little bit on that, but what actually inspired the track? Was it something specific, or just you wanting to sing and be more open about mental health in your songwriting?
SL: At the time that I wrote it- I wrote it about three years ago- I had just gone through a lot during that year in college, a lot of personal changes and relationship issues. A lot of what I was going through was caused by anxiety, and the way things went down caused more anxiety, so it was just a hot mess! I wrote it with this sort of idea of “These people gave up on me because I’m messed up, it’s my fault”. I started with that but as the song progresses, you can see that I started to realize that it actually takes more than one person for things to go down, it’s mutual on some level. It’s pretty much about how anxiety ruined things for me.
SC: Aw, no! I know you said it was a few years ago, but what was the process of writing this song like? How long did it take you, did the song come easy to you or was it one of the more difficult songs you’ve had to write?
SL: I remember it being really easy for the most part. I don’t have the world’s greatest memory, but I did play voice notes back recently, I think maybe even a couple of days ago, and listening to the way it was and hearing the progression of it was really interesting. I wrote this song by myself, and I did change some of the lyrics but the general idea stayed the same and has always been there. It was definitely one of the easier ones to write.
SC: What made you want to release it now? What made you want to record it now?
SL: I would say because I’ve been wanting to put it out for a while, I hadn’t felt ready at the time of writing it to put it out. I was really nervous for people to hear it. I also feel like now is a really good time to talk about mental health more than ever. Of course everyone has mental health, whether it’s good or bad, struggling or not struggling, but I think over the last year with the pandemic it’s become more of a pushed conversation. The isolation and everything that came with the pandemic… it caused mental health issues in people who may not have had it before. I think now is a much more opening time to talking about mental health.
Also, honestly, I wanted to show another side of my art. With my last song, it was playful and upbeat and fun which is cool, but I did want to show something that’s important to me and feels as though it has more substance.
SC: Right, and this song is very vulnerable. It’s amazing, I don’t know what else to say about it. I know “Messed Up” is very personal for you and you have your own meaning behind it, but is there anything you want people to take away from the song? Is there something you want people to listen out for, or something you want them to think of, or any overall takeaway from the track?
SL: There’s a couple of things. In the bridge, there’s a line where I say “But one thing I know for sure is I don’t need you”. I start out the song saying “I’d give it all for you to say you’re wrong”, “I’m done, you tore me to shreds”. It focuses around the idea that without this person, I feel lost, I feel devastated. By the end of the song, I start to realize, “I don’t need you”, you’re never going to tell me you miss me or say sorry. I think the second verse to me is the most powerful, my favorite lines are “Seven letters you’ll never say/ Miss you and I’m sorry”. It comes from a real place, sometimes you do have to wait for someone to give you closure, even if you were wrong in the situation. If they messed up as well, you wish that they would come around and acknowledge that.
I realized that sometimes it’ll never happen, some people won’t ever do that. The longer I wait for somebody to give me closure who I know probably won’t, the more I miss out on. Not only am I hurt, but I’m also putting a hold on my life and I lose in the end by doing that. You don’t need this person, whether you messed up or they messed up, you need to forgive yourself, and learn from and accept what happened.
SC: I think that’s such a powerful message because it is really hard if you’re in a situation like that to kind of, not talk yourself out of it necessarily, but work on getting over it and moving on. I feel like this could definitely be a really helpful song for a lot of people because it’ll help them realize they don’t need those people in their lives and they can get themselves out of any situation they’re stuck in.
SL: Thank you!
SC: You’re welcome! Do you want to write more songs like this or have you written more songs like this that you’re waiting to release?
SL: I definitely want to write more songs like “Messed Up”. The only thing I’m concerned about is… I don’t want all of my music to always be about this because there are so many other topics worth exploring, just in terms of what I want to say and sing about. I really do think it’s a strong focal point for me, in not only artistry but also as a person. It’ll definitely be at the forefront of what I sing about, but not the only thing I talk about.
I do have some other things started that sort of touch on mental health, but nothing that’s finished right now.
SC: I can’t wait to hear everything once it’s finished! Kind of going back to the whole process of the song, how did you come up with the overall sound? Did it start one way and turn into something bigger or has it always sounded this way?
SL: I was working at Sonic at the time, which is so random. I was on my lunch break and I was feeling really down about the situation, and there are times where I have writer’s block and there are other times where my mind is just go, go go. I was in one of those times where everything was just pouring out of me, which is great in terms of writing. I was crossing the street to go get food and I was listening to some beats online, I usually work with a producer and we’ll make something from scratch, but in this case I was messing around with beats online and I found this one and really liked it. I bought it out and since I did that I now own the beat. I started with the chorus and worked everything around that.
I knew I wanted a lot of runs in the final chorus after the bridge, I wanted it to be vocally challenging. I definitely don’t have the world’s largest range, but I have the aspirations of someone who may, and I thought to myself “I want this to be challenging, I want to actually sing on this track”.
SC: I loved the runs, that was one of my favorite parts of the whole song. I think it’s super powerful. Before, you mentioned briefly that you worked on writing this song alone. What was that like? I know you wrote “Want You Bad” with another person and this song is very vulnerable, it feels very you. How did it feel to write alone, and I guess let loose in a sense?
SL: What’s interesting is with “Want You Bad” I technically wrote that one myself but my producer helped me… I guess it would be considered cowriting, because he would help me in terms of what the song sounded like. If I was singing too high he would advise me to sing a little lower. I wrote “Want You Bad”, but he helped guide me.
SC: He helped more in the musical sense, not the lyrical sense.
SL: Exactly. With “Messed Up” I wrote everything. The lyrics, the melody, I did all of that. I would say writing alone… I don’t think at the time I was writing it I would have been okay with opening up to other people in the way that I did now. I would have felt weird or judged and I didn’t want to talk about what the lyrics were referring to yet, I wasn’t ready to address it. Now, I’m kind of just like “Whatever, this is what went on”. I think writing it alone in this situation did help me. Sometimes it’s hard to write alone because you can get stuck, but other times it can be really liberating because there’s no one watching you.
SC: Right. There’s no audience or no other people in the room to say “You should use this word instead” or “Sing this instead of that”.
SL: Yeah, exactly.
SC: Well, I think “Messed Up” is very much a statement, and it feels like a defining moment for you. It’s very powerful and I could definitely see this being on an EP or an album at some point in the future, if that’s on the table.
SL: Thank you!
SC: Do you have plans to release an EP or an album? I know I asked you that last time and I know things are a little different now!
SL: An album, no. I feel like I need to work on building more of a fanbase. I’m like, baby, baby, baby artist right now, I’m practically right out of the womb! Nobody really knows I exist, and nobody would listen to the album.
SC: I would listen!
SL: Well, thank you! I definitely do want to put out a few more singles and from there craft an EP that tells a cohesive story. If no one’s listening by then, something needs to be done! No album for a while, probably a couple more singles this year, then an EP, and then we’ll see what happens!
SC: That’s fair! I do love the fact that you said you want to make a cohesive EP that tells a story. For me, I love albums and bodies of work that tell a story. Would it focus around the same events of “Messed Up”, or would you talk about other relationships or events?
SL: I think I would want it to be about my journey, which includes primarily mental health, but also touches on relationships of all types. Friendships, relationships, family, people I look up to, the good and bad of those relationships. I’d also put some fun stuff on there! I really want to tell a story that feels like me. For people that know me, they always say my personality is really bizarre, I’m called quirky everyday. I want to have that sort of feel to the EP and just release something so people know who I am. No one knows anything about me yet, I want to introduce myself in a solid way.
SC: I feel like this is a great starting point, it is so open and honest. I could see this being an opening track to an EP or even an album at some point! It could be built into a future project down the line! Can we expect a video for “Messed Up”?
SL: I would love to say yes, but a girl has to budget, so not right now! I’m starting to regret not doing a video because a few other people have asked about a video and I was like, “Oh, shit”. Once I get the coins stacked up, and I mean pennies at this point, there will be a video for some song, I don’t know which one will get a video by the time I’m ready to make one.
SC: Would you ever consider doing a visual EP? I know some artists, I think maybe Beyoncé did it for one of her albums where she gave each song its own video. Obviously she’s Beyoncé so she has a lot of money and can do whatever she wants, but would you ever consider doing something on a smaller scale?
SL: Yeah! I think it would be fun. The bigger the budget, obviously the more you can do, in most cases. I think it would be really cool to bring all of my songs to life, because not only are you able to listen to it but now you can see it. I think that could be really cool.
SC: With that, you can give more of an insight of who you are. You can speak about mental health in a visual way and that would be really interesting.
SL: For sure!
SC: Well, thank you so much for sitting down to talk with me! Where can people stream “Messed Up”, and where can people follow you to get to know the real Saturn?
SL: My Instagram is @saturnlane, my Twitter is @SaturnLane, my Facebook is Saturn Lane Music, my website is saturnlanemusic.com, my Tik Tok- we don’t have to talk about how cringey they are- is @saturnlane. I’m streaming on Spotify, Apple Music, all those streaming services!
SC: Thank you again!
SL: Thank you for having me!
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You can stream “Messed Up” using the links above! Congratulations once again to Saturn Lane on the release!